Six Ways to Support a Loved One When Their Child Has an Eating Disorder
Discovering that a loved one’s child is struggling with an eating disorder can be incredibly distressing. It’s even more challenging when the child’s parents don’t seem to acknowledge the severity of the situation. As a concerned extended family member, you may find yourself in a difficult position, trying to balance your concern with respecting family boundaries. However, there are ways you can offer support that may make a significant difference in your loved one’s journey toward addressing and managing their child’s eating disorder. Here are six actionable ways to provide support and make a positive impact:
Educate Yourself About Eating Disorders
Understanding eating disorders and their effects on both the individual and the family is crucial. Eating disorders are complex mental health conditions that involve more than just unhealthy eating habits; they can stem from a mix of genetic, environmental, and psychological factors. By educating yourself on the signs, symptoms, and treatment options, you can engage in more informed and compassionate conversations.
Open a Compassionate and Non-Judgmental Dialogue
Approach the situation with sensitivity. Open a dialogue with the child’s parents in a non-confrontational way. Express your concerns with empathy, focusing on observations and using “I” statements. For example, you might say, “I’ve noticed that [child’s name] seems to be struggling with eating and I’m worried about their well-being. I care about them and want to do whatever I can to help.”
If you’re feeling unsure of how to initiate the conversation, it may be helpful to roleplay the interaction with someone you trust to plan your approach and communicate effectively.
Expect some defensiveness from your loved one. There can be a lot tied up in what it means to accept that their child has an eating disorder. Bringing your concerns to their attention may bring shame and guilt and a sense of overwhelm about next steps. Be patient and try not to take any resistance personally. Know that you are offering needed support, regardless of initial responses.
Encourage Professional Help
Seeking professional help for an eating disorder may feel daunting and overwhelming for parents. As a trusted family member, you can investigate treatment options to help demystify the process by researching and presenting treatment options.
Research local treatment options, including intensive outpatient programs, partial hospitalization programs, inpatient programs and other community outpatient options, like eating disorder therapists and dietitians. Emphasize the importance of treatment and normalize seeking out professional help. Suggest that the teen undergo an assessment with an eating disorder specialist to gauge their needs. If that feels presumptuous, you can direct the teen or parent to a self-directed eating disorder quiz.
Provide information on local treatment centers and what they can expect from treatment. If financial strain is a concern, assist by researching options that accept the family’s insurance plan.
Be a Source of Emotional Support
Whether or not the parents are receptive to your concerns, being a supportive presence can make a big difference. Listen without judgment and offer reassurance that their feelings and concerns are valid. Acknowledge the emotional strain that the child’s illness may be having on the family. Sometimes, just knowing that someone else cares and is willing to stand by them can be incredibly comforting.
Promote Healthy Communication
Encourage open and honest communication within the family. Eating disorders often thrive in environments where communication is stifled or where there is secrecy. Don’t shy away from discussions about emotions. Suggest family therapy or counseling to improve communication and address underlying issues that could be contributing to the eating disorder, such as stress, other mental health issues, and intrafamily conflict. Supporting healthy communication practices can help the entire family navigate this challenging time more effectively.
Model Positive Behavior
Demonstrate healthy behaviors and attitudes regarding food, body image, and self-care. Children and adolescents are highly influenced by the adults around them, and modeling positive behaviors can have a significant impact. Avoid discussing diets, weight, or body image in a negative or critical manner. Instead, focus on engaging in positive self-care practices, and promoting a balanced approach to health and wellness. Be sure to praise the teen for accomplishments and qualities unrelated to their appearance. By modeling these behaviors, you contribute to creating a more supportive and nurturing environment.
Conclusion
Supporting a loved one whose child is struggling with an eating disorder requires patience, empathy, and practical action. Even if the parents are not initially receptive, your support and understanding can still have a meaningful impact. By approaching the situation with care and persistence, you can help pave the way for your loved one to seek the help and support their family needs.
As an extended family member, you play a crucial role in advocating for your family member’s recovery. Eating disorders impact the emotional wellbeing of the entire family. It can be painful for a parent to admit that their child may be struggling, and signs and symptoms may go unnoticed or be ignored. You, as an extended family member, may have the perspective and distance needed to take the proactive steps to getting your loved one’s child the proper care for their eating disorder.
If someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, Inner Haven is here to help. Contact us today to learn more about our specialized treatment programs and start the journey toward recovery.